The thing you have to understand about deep sadness is – it’s a form of pain. It’s emotional pain and it is just as real and just as detrimental as physical pain, except that it’s harder to treat and it often lasts longer. It’s one of those things that you can so easily fall into and never climb out of. It traps you, it isolates you… and people don’t understand it. They try… but they get frustrated or hurt when they don’t seem to make a difference after a while. For some reason physical pain is far more accepted by other people because there’s often evidence of it they can physically see like a wound or a scar, whereas emotional pain is looked upon as self-indulgent or just a plain old negative attitude. I wish it was something people could see so they could understand it better… It would be so much easier if that heaviness you feel was a physical thing, like literal baggage you had to carry around with you instead of just the emotional kind… Because if it was something sizable that physically weighed you down, people could understand why it’s so hard to get out of bed in the morning. It would be so much easier if sadness caused your face to dry out and go brittle… just so it would crack and bleed whenever you smiled. Perhaps then people would see how much it hurts when everyone else around you to laughs and smiles and you feel you have to as well so you can fit in. Or perhaps if sadness caused your eyesight to darken and happiness was a blinding light that burnt your eyes if you suffered from it, people would understand why we so often look away or avoid happy people altogether. But it’s one of those things nobody can see and you can never put into words for anybody else to understand but you – and that is precisely why it is so isolating. Sometimes the most helpful and understanding thing somebody can do for you is simply accept that you suffer from something they can’t understand, and not expect more than you’re capable of. I know that without physical evidence, deep sadness is difficult to understand… but acceptance is just as helpful. To know that how you’re feeling is accepted by somebody – even if they don’t understand it – takes away that constant pressure to pretend to be how you think people want you to be so you can focus your energy into healing at your own pace….Ranata Suzuki
Every time you hurt them it adds another layer to their outer shell and makes their defenses more impenetrable. They may valiantly deflect your words and actions with their assertive body language – but their eyes will speak the truth… it’s the only part of their true selves they cannot hide beneath their steely resolve to stand strong no matter what you throw at them.
These people are gentle warriors – they defend but never attack.
But their downfall is the more layers they add, the heavier it becomes until it weighs them down so much they cannot move forward any more.
And this is the only time they’ll raise their sword… not to cut you down… but to simply cut you out of their life completely so they can move on…….Ranata Suzuki
Pain is an unavoidable part of life. It’s something every person will experience many times throughout their lives. Nobody is immune to it…. it affects us all.
But how it affects you is a choice only you can make. You can let it be a strength by acknowledging your struggle and realizing your endurance means you’re a strong person…. Or you can let the fear of it weaken you until you are nothing but an empty shell of the person you used to be, too afraid to live your life for fear of being hurt again.
You can let it make you a more empathetic person because you’ve been through it yourself and you’d do anything to alleviate someone else’s… Or you can let it turn you into an angry, nasty person who justifies what they’ve been through by passing it on to other people.
It can teach you the value of love by showing you who stayed by you… If only so you realize not everyone is going to hurt you, and decide to let more wonderful people into your heart and your life … Or you can decide to let it twist your heart until you shut everybody out and there’s no love left in your life at all.
Pain is a terrible thing and you cannot avoid it – But it comes with a choice as to whether or not it makes you better person…. And if you let it make you a better person, then you’re already one step closer to healing it…….Ranata Suzuki